you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
