I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You had me at "let me see your balls"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
