All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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