He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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