So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
