Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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