I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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