I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
