girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
