im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
