I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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