Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
