): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
