Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
