I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize