yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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