Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
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A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
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I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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