i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
