I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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