brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
