Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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