you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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