I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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