he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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