i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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