And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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