i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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