if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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