I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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