What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
