Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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