I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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