Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
