just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
