you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
