That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
