it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
