I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize