Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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