Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
