I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
