its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize