is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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