so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
