She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i've created a new STD.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize