At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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