Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
