Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
