she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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