I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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