Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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