Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
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SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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