I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
