im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
