I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize