I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
