yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
