She's JV to your varsity
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
