So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
