You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
