wrigley field is MILF paradise
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize