Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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